Aftermath
by Suspicious Popsicle
Summary: Yuri's friends know he's strong and capable of making tough decisions, but they also know that he cares about people...sometimes more than is good for him.


A/N: Although both stories were conceived as separate ideas, this _can_ be read as taking place about a month after "Nostalgia." It works just fine as a standalone, though.

Disclaimer: The characters and settings in this story are from _Tales of Vesperia_ and do not belong to me.

* * *

The discovery of Alexei's treachery and the abuses committed by Cumore and the knights under his command meant that the Imperial Knights were mired in chaos when Flynn took over as Commandant. He had to work from the top down to restore the integrity of the Knights. Weeks were spent interviewing those of rank, checking over their service records, deciding who to promote into newly available positions, who to keep an eye on, and who had simply known too much about the atrocities committed to have any excuse for not having tried to stop the corruption. A list in his desk drawer of upcoming court martials grew day by day as those he'd placed his trust in to clean house down the ranks sought out the vicious and the greedy.

Evil influences were purged. Others left of their own volition, either unhappy with the sudden reinstatement of discipline or the idea of a commoner Commandant. The Knights were decimated. Flynn received letters containing demands that he step down, anonymous accusations of having colluded with Alexei, threats. He burned such things in the fireplace of his new office and let Yuri toast marshmallows over the flames when he visited.

To make matters worse, the loss of the blastia meant that cities were no longer safe from monsters. While many species seemed to become less aggressive as the balance of aer slowly returned to normal, others had learned over the years that man was a prey animal. Attacks near and even inside of cities became so commonplace that Flynn was obliged to do everything he could to keep the far-flung brigades fully staffed and supplied as he juggled dismissals and promotions and the desperate need for new recruits.

Further complicating this was the sudden emergence of new towns across the map. Without barriers, living in crowded cities became more of a choice and less of a necessity. It seemed that there were plenty of people willing to put in the hard work required for a fresh start and a bit of breathing room in a brand new town. It seemed to Flynn that one sprung up every week, and most of them wanted their own contingent of knights for extra protection.

With a regime change creating strife within, and the restructuring of the very world they lived in creating problems without, Flynn had his work cut out for him. Military discipline was all well and good, but it still required a tremendous amount of time and effort to oversee an organization such as the Imperial Knights, grown lax and disorderly under Alexei's neglect. His responsibilities kept him out of the field where he yearned to be, tethering him instead to a desk where he knew he was doing the most good. He took pride in his work, but the urge to be out in the world—doing something with his own two hands, seeing immediate results—ate at him. He had never envied Yuri more than he did now, bound by his title.

So, when the opportunity to get away from the capital presented itself, Flynn jumped on it.

A detachment of knights was being sent out along with a large shipment of supplies. They would be traveling across the continent, stopping by cities to refill dwindling rosters and armories. Rather than wait for reports to be sent back about the status of the Empire's cities—more paperwork—Flynn decided to ride out with the knights. He would change the aim from a simple supply run to a sort of goodwill mission to the settlements of imperial citizens and guildsmen. He would spend a little bit of time among the men under his command and get a feel for the people he had out in the world and how they were fitting in at their posts. It would do everyone some good.

Sodia was to accompany him, of course. The world might be a much more peaceful place despite the struggles that came with living without blastia, but, if anything went wrong, he wanted someone he could trust at his back.

It took him a week of late nights and extra early mornings to reach a point where his workload would allow him to go, but at last the day came when he set out with eager recruits and several wagons loaded with supplies. He was in high spirits as they rode out. Beside him, Sodia glanced over and smiled in understanding. He grinned back at her, thrilled to be getting back out into the world.

Their first stop was Halure, still the closest city to Zaphias. In the height of summer, the city was shaded by the huge, green canopy of its iconic tree. The cool shade was a welcome relief after having traveled all day in full armor, but they didn't linger in the streets to enjoy it. Flynn led them directly to the barracks on the edge of town, a building recently constructed to meet the growing city's needs. The woman who had been placed in charge of Halure's small group of knights was still only a lieutenant, and Flynn promoted her on the spot. He'd brought her two new recruits along with uniforms, weapons, and a small cache of gels. She designated a few of her people to put away the supplies and get the newcomers settled in, then invited Flynn into the cramped barracks' office. They discussed the situation in Halure and the possibility of promoting her second in command to lieutenant. Flynn left the meeting confident that the city was in good hands.

Outside the new captain's office, one of the knights was waiting with a message for him. Lady Estellise had taken note of his arrival and invited him to dinner. He left Sodia in the barracks and made his way to her home. It had been a long time since they'd had a chance to talk.

It was Rita, not Estellise, who opened the door when he knocked, and he remembered having been told that the two of them shared a home. Over a meal of salad, fresh rolls, and bowls of chilled vichyssoise, the three of them caught up and traded news. It was the most relaxing meal he'd had in some time but, toward the end of the evening, as he was thinking that he ought to return to the barracks and get some sleep, the smile Estellise had worn faded, and she fixed him with a thoughtful stare.

"Have you seen Yuri recently?" she asked.

Rita stood suddenly, the legs of her chair scraping harshly across the floorboards in the quiet. She began gathering dishes to carry into the kitchen to be washed. Not entirely sure if her abrupt departure was a coincidence or not, Flynn turned his attention back to Estellise.

"It's been nearly a month. Has he been through lately?"

She shook her head. "How was he when you last saw him?"

It was a strange question. "Fine. A little tired, perhaps. I understand Brave Vesperia is busy enough to keep even him out of trouble."

From the kitchen, he heard a sharp, derisive bark of laughter, but Rita had nothing to say on the matter. Flynn frowned at Estellise, feeling the first, faint stirrings of concern.

"Has something happened?"

Smoothing down her skirt, Estellise stood. "Will you come with me? There's someone I'd like you to meet."

* * *

Another inn had been erected on the edge of town. It was clearly new, but also clearly constructed with some haste. Estellise led him inside and up to one of the rooms. It was late for a social call, but she knocked anyway, then folded her hands over her skirts. She was biting her lower lip and standing so still that Flynn could tell she was fighting not to fidget. She hadn't spoken sine they had left her home, and he pushed back the urge to ask her what was going on.

A man answered the door, an older man with streaks of white in his brown hair. He smiled broadly at them and seemed wholly unremarkable until Flynn noticed that his right arm ended in a misshapen stump just below the elbow.

"Miss Estellise. Good evening to you. What brings you by?"

"I'm sorry to come here so late Erich, but I wanted you to meet Flynn."

He looked Flynn up and down, still smiling. "The young Commandant, eh? Well. This is an honor. Come in, come in." He stepped aside to allow them to pass.

Inside, the room was even smaller than Yuri's room above The Comet. The bed, a chest of drawers, and a table took up most of the space along the walls. Shelves had been fixed into place wherever possible, though Flynn noticed that they didn't rise too high up. There was only one chair. No one took it. They stared at each other for a moment until Estellise spoke up.

"Flynn has been trying to help deal with the aftermath of losing the blastia, but…" She glanced at him. "…there are things he doesn't know. Erich…would you mind telling Flynn how you lost your arm?"

It surprised Flynn to hear her ask so directly, but, aside from a fading of his smile, Erich didn't seem to mind so much. He stroked his beard.

"I understand that the blastia disappeared for a reason. Seems no one's seen fit to offer an official explanation. I don't guess anyone would want to be known for having caused it, whether they're running the empire or the guilds. Wouldn't sit right with people. Too much lost when it happened. I'm assured by our Miss Estellise that it was necessary, and with that sky monster gone at the same time, I'm inclined to believe her. Still…I rather wish the blastia hadn't had to go.

"Suppose I ought to have started off by telling you that I used to work in a mine. We dug out the ore that gets melted down and refined for your swords and armor there, Commandant. Dangerous work, at times, but it could have been worse.

"The mine we worked in was close to a lake. Blasting new shafts unsettled some things, and the owners had to get a pump installed to keep the mine from flooding. Blastia powered, of course. Worked just fine until that day.

"I'm not perfectly clear on the details. They told us later that water had been building up, but it could have been contained if the pumps had been working properly—maybe even if they'd been shut down right. As it was, everything went crazy. The pumps practically exploded, flooded the mine. The force of the water was enough to break through a couple weak points, and half the lake came rushing in. People and tools and rocks were getting thrown about, this way and that. When they pulled me out, I had the business end of a pickaxe clear through my arm. Weren't enough gels to go 'round, and no healer on-site. My friends patched me up as best they could, managed to keep me from bleeding out. Couldn't save the arm. Doctor took it two days later. Came down with a bad fever after that, and was sick for a good while. Still, I suppose I'm one of the lucky ones. Not everyone made it out of the mine."

Silence flooded the room and Flynn found himself at a loss for words. He'd known that the loss of the blastia was a tremendous issue but, before Erich's story, it had been a largely impersonal problem, something that affected everybody. He'd been cooped up in the palace for too long, been too focused on his work with the Knights, and he'd never stopped to really think that 'everybody' meant 'individuals.'

Erich took a look at him and laughed shortly. "Can't see the trees for the forest, eh? Bet there's a lot going on up there. Must look different down here among us common folk." The words were spoken without rancor, but they stung nonetheless. "Hope I was able to help."

"Flynn is an old friend of Yuri's," Estellise said.

It seemed for a moment like a very strange non sequitur, but then a grin spread across Erich's face and he took a step forward, looking Flynn over anew.

"Is he, now? Your friend has been a blessing, I'll tell you that gladly. A stubborn, busybody of a blessing. Do you know what he did? I've told Miss Estellise this already. Has she told you?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I was behind on my rent a little while back. Couldn't quite scrape together enough. My job now doesn't pay so much as I used to get. So, I'd mentioned this to Yuri, just in passing, just griping about my problems to a ready ear. Hadn't thought anything of it. Well, I finally saved up enough, but by then, I was so far past due that I was surprised they hadn't kicked me out. I went down to pay and what do you suppose they told me? I was caught up, they said. Told me a young man dressed all in black had paid for me not too long ago. It was Yuri, I know it. Couldn't leave well enough alone."

His grin shrank as he looked around his sparse room. "I'll pay him back just as soon as I can, and you can tell him that. Don't much like being in debt."

"Yuri visits Erich whenever he passes through Halure," Estellise said.

"He's an impudent one, but a good soul. Always willing to listen to me go on about the good old days. Helps me out where he can. He built all those shelves for me. Says people gotta stick together after all that's happened."

"He visits you…" Flynn could hear his voice as he spoke, and it sounded strange to his ears. "…to talk about…before?"

Erich looked down at his maimed arm. "That he does. He's a good listener."

Flynn felt sick to his stomach.

They didn't stay long after that. Estellise had made her point, and she and Flynn walked quietly back through town. When they returned to the cottage, Rita was waiting for them outside. They joined her in the darkness just beyond the warm glow that spilled from the windows.

"There are others," Estellise said quietly.

She took out a folded piece of paper and passed it to him. Opening it up, he found a list of names and cities, two dozen of them, more. Erich was down near the bottom. Erich Rosen, Halure. There was no place civilized he could go in Terca Lumireis without being able to find at least one person from the list.

"How did you find out about them all?"

"Karol and Judith let me know. They're worried, too."

He folded the paper over the names, hiding them away. "He has to know this isn't his fault. Yes, he agreed with the plan, but he wasn't given any other option. We all agreed that it was the best chance we had to save the world—and it worked! It isn't as if he planned for people to get hurt. It wasn't even his idea in the first place!"

Silence fell among them, growing ominous as it stretched out and neither of the girls met his eyes. Finally, Rita began to speak and Flynn wished he didn't need so badly to hear her words.

"He acts like such an idiot…and I think we all forget sometimes that he's not. I might have thought up the idea on my own, given time. Maybe I'm the one who made it work, but I wasn't the one who came up with the plan."

Flynn wondered if the sense of relief he got from her was real, if she was grateful not to have to bear that particular burden, or if he was only imagining things.

"He was only trying to help!" Estellise insisted. "He told us that he didn't mind becoming a villain in order to save the world." Her shoulders sagged and Rita reached out hesitantly to touch her arm.

"We didn't know exactly what price we would have to pay to convert the blastia cores. Of course there wouldn't have been time to get a warning out to everybody, but the transmutation of the cores was necessary to save our world. We saved everyone we could. He's just gonna have to realize that."

* * *

Flynn walked back to the barracks with his attention glued to the list he held even though the darkness of the streets made it unreadable. Erich Rosen had lost his arm as a direct result of the conversion of the blastia cores. Knowing that Yuri, responsible for suggesting and carrying out that plan, was seeking Erich out gave Flynn a terrible feeling of dread. Listening to Erich, he'd felt guilty over the man's loss. How could he not, when he had been in agreement with Yuri's plan, had even helped to argue it? But Flynn had the reassurance of being able to focus on the big picture. While he could acknowledge and regret individual sacrifices, that regret was tempered by the unequivocal necessity of the actions that had been taken. In order to save the world, they had had no other choice. He knew this. Yuri knew this. But Yuri was the type to see people before the world, and now Flynn had a whole list of people who had been hurt in exchange for the world…a list of people that Yuri had been visiting frequently.

He hoped it was nothing more than Yuri's usual need to help and his ease when it came to making friends. Surely, not all the names on the list would have stories behind them like Erich's. Most of them would probably be people who were between jobs after the loss of the blastia, people who were annoyed by the sudden inconveniences, but otherwise still living happily. How many people like Erich Rosen could Yuri possibly have found?

The question haunted him. How many were there? Erich had already talked about his fellow mineworkers. Where else could a sudden loss of blastia have gone catastrophically wrong?

Even as he reached the barracks, Flynn knew he wouldn't be continuing on with the supply mission. What he'd learned that night was far more important, and not simply because of Yuri's involvement. If there were people suffering because of what their leaders had decided, even if that decision had been made with the best intentions of protecting them, then something had to be done to help. It was his job to protect people and, now that such matters had been called to his attention, he couldn't overlook them. He would begin by riding out in the morning to find the people on the list and listen to their stories. By the time he returned to Zaphias, he would have a better idea of what he could do for them.

Inside the barracks, Sodia was still up, sharpening her sword. She stood as he entered, and he smiled tiredly for her.

"I won't be continuing on with the men in the morning. Something more important has come up."

She nodded. "I'll inform them and have Gayle put in charge. Will we be leaving the city tomorrow?"

He hesitated, but the way she had unquestioningly agreed to follow him kept him from insisting that she continue on in his stead. He felt like he would need that support over the coming days.

"Yes. We'll ride out at dawn."

* * *

Traveling through cities, towns, and settlements, following the list of names like some dreadful scavenger hunt, Flynn listened to the same sorts of stories over and over again. He met people who had been scarred and maimed, burned or blinded, their lives forever changed in the moment the blastia stopped working. Furnaces regulated by blastia had exploded under rapidly mounting pressure. Ships powered by blastia had been stranded for days or lost to storms before they could return to port. In towns where blastia had been necessary to regulate and purify the water supply, illness had run rampant. Monsters that couldn't be slain with mere human strength had claimed victims in the wild and inside the perimeters of newly failed barriers. There had been accidents in factories, forges, workshops, and homes. Blastia had once been as common as the clouds in the sky, used for everything from simple lamps to extraordinary weapons such as the Heracles, and taken for granted so long as they functioned correctly. Their use had been far too widespread, too deeply entrenched in all walks of life for it to have been possible to warn everyone. There had been casualties. It should have been expected.

The scars borne by the list of Yuri's people weren't solely physical. Some suffered from night terrors. Others hadn't been physically harmed, but had lost friends or family. Many bore deep resentment toward the nebulous 'they' that had allowed the catastrophe to occur. Some considered Flynn one of the guilty parties and refused to speak to him, while others had nothing but difficult questions for him. There were those who suspected that, because of his title, he'd had something to do with the loss of the blastia, and those who had no idea who he was. Nobody knew the full truth of the situation. Some even thought that the monster from the sky had taken the blastia away. The stories people patched together were varied and often incomplete, but as Flynn listened to them weep or rage over what they had lost through the actions of others, he was given a terrible glimpse at what Yuri, subjecting himself to such talk regularly, must have been feeling.

He documented everything he heard, took notes on the harsh consequences of the decision he'd helped make for the sake of the world, asked after other survivors and news of other incidents. He wasn't sure yet what good it would do, but he knew that these stories couldn't be ignored.

For the most part, the people he visited talked highly of Yuri, which was a little disconcerting coming from men and women who were so quick to denounce those responsible for nullifying the blastia. Flynn heard stories about Yuri coming around to visit when he was in town, of him stopping to chat or play games or cook a meal for the wounded or their families. He ran errands or did odd jobs. Sometimes, he covered rent or the cost of groceries when money was tight.

One or two people had worked out that Yuri wasn't innocent. They'd seen something in him, or heard enough tattered bits of the story to put the pieces together.

"I don't know if it's his way of punishing himself, or of trying to make amends," a woman who had lost her husband told Flynn. "Either way, I can't bring myself to forgive him, even though I understand that it was necessary, somehow. Besides, the bills still need to get paid. I let him help out when he comes by, and I sit and talk to him about my Hans, because I can't stand to see him playing with my children when I know what he's done."

Flynn hated her a little bit for that, for the cold pragmatism and the casual cruelty, but he could see in her face that she was suffering, and he had no words to admonish her. He took down her story, thanked her for her time, and went on his way, sick at heart to think that Yuri was being used like that, that he might allow it to continue even if he knew.

* * *

Late that night, long after he should have been asleep in his room at the inn, he went walking through the nearly deserted city streets. Knights patrolled the neighborhoods lest a monster slip in while the citizens slept, but they were scattered and easy enough to avoid. He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts, but he couldn't share them with those men. They didn't know Yuri, they didn't know the stories Flynn had heard, and, like as not, they didn't know the truth about the blastia and the spirits and the Adephagos. He slipped past the patrols he encountered, nothing more than a victim of insomnia without his uniform on to betray his rank.

In the middle of the wide thoroughfare that ran through the city, he stopped and looked up at the sky. Brave Vesperia still shone down over the world, infinitely more solitary in its vigil ever since Flynn had heard the truth. The elementals had told Estellise that Vesperia was kin to them, an ancient apatheia moored in the stars, too far removed from the world to be converted into a spirit. His purpose now was merely to serve as a reminder of the mistakes of the past and the sacrifice necessary to correct those mistakes…and that only to a select few. Once the last of the people to know the whole truth were gone from the world, what then? Would the spirits continue to speak to humanity, to whisper to them of the cataclysm that could never be allowed to recur? Or would Vesperia be left stripped of its substance, rendered inconsequential as only one more star among many, the namesake of a children's tale, in remembrance of nothing. Estellise had spoken once of writing a book. Perhaps she would set the events down for future generations to read. He could draw no comfort from the thought just then, and turned his face away from the stars.

He wanted suddenly to strike something. His hand fell not to the sword at his side, but rather clenched into a fist. Deep breaths helped suppress the urge to lash out. Such childish displays of emotion were to be left in his past. He'd learned to control his temper over the years, though the need to do _something_ burned within him, rising in his throat thick enough to choke on and searing hot behind his eyes.

Footsteps approached, loud in the still night, and halted a short distance behind him. Sodia's voice came to him like a soft breeze.

"I heard you leave your room."

"Seems I've picked up on an old habit of Yuri's. He used to slip out into the lower quarter to wander when something was troubling him."

He turned to face her. She'd never gotten on with Yuri, but she'd been there when the decision was made to neutralize the blastia, and she'd been at Flynn's side for each meeting during this journey. Flynn needed her to understand. He needed someone else to believe in Yuri, even knowing everything that he had done.

"Yuri has made mistakes. He's committed serious crimes. Still, he's a good man, one of the best I've ever met. It's terrible that so many people were hurt by what happened. I wish there had been another way. Without Yuri, though…without Yuri, they wouldn't even be _alive_. Our world would have fallen to the Adephagos. Yuri saved us all."

Sodia looked away. "He did what was necessary," she allowed, and Flynn's heart sank at her tone. "But if he hadn't, if he really had disappeared that day at Zaude, then someone else would have done it."

He shivered at her words, at the memories they evoked, at the thought of the burdens Yuri had accepted as if they were nothing. No one in their right mind would want to take on such a weight, but Yuri had done so gracefully. Flynn wondered if he could have managed it had he known exactly how high the cost would actually be.

"If you let this trouble you, then you're doing the same thing he is: taking on pain that isn't yours to bear. With all due respect, sir, you can't control him. Punish him when he breaks the law, but if he's hurting no one but himself, then leave him to it. Don't let him hurt you, as well. There are too many people depending on you."

Always before, he had admired her frankness. Now, her words were weighted, barbed. They caught in his sense of duty and his pride as a knight, trying to drag him back to his responsibilities and away from where he knew he was truly needed.

"I'd like to be alone, please."

She lingered a moment longer, perhaps wanting to add something, perhaps simply realizing that she had disappointed him. In the end, she complied and left him there with his thoughts until exhaustion finally drove him back to the inn for a few hours' rest before dawn.

* * *

Growing increasingly more desperate to find Yuri, Flynn pressed hard to reach Dahngrest. Sodia didn't complain, though he suspected that was due as much to her eagerness to have the errand over and done with as her self-discipline. They made the city as dusk was falling and, although there were several names from the list that could be found within the walls, Flynn would not be visiting them that night. He gave charge of the horses to Sodia, telling her to take them to the inn and book rooms for the night. Then, he left her, guiding his steps resolutely towards the headquarters of Yuri's guild. He hoped to find his friend there, and felt such a frenzy of emotions as he navigated the thinning crowds that he could not be certain whether he was more likely to embrace Yuri at first sight or lay him out with a good punch. Demanding an explanation would come in somewhere. Yuri always had a reason for the things he did, whether or not he would admit to it. In this case, Flynn was hard pressed to think of anything that might justify the sort of self-flagellation Yuri had been indulging in.

Striding up to the door, he knocked, briskly, but not impolitely, manners kicking in to keep him from hammering his fist against the wood and shouting for Yuri. It was Judith who opened the door, and her smile softened a little around the edges as she saw that it was him. Stepping aside, she waved him into the small receiving room, a tiny parlor sparsely decorated with a few knickknacks and trophies, letters and photos, mementos of jobs well done and connections made with other guilds. Yuri smiled out at him in miniature from several of the photographs, and Flynn wondered, if he looked closely enough, if those smiles would be revealed as lies.

"Welcome to Dahngrest," Judith said. It was all she managed before Karol came thundering down the stairs.

"Did Estelle give you the letter?"

They moved into the back kitchen, the room cramped and half taken up with a battered old table. Karol and Flynn took seats as Judith put on a pot of water for tea. Flynn pulled out the list of names and laid it in the center of the table, hasty 'x's inked beside the dozen people he had spoken with. Expression grave, Karol looked over the names, though he must have been responsible for gathering most of them. He was, Flynn thought, remarkably mature for his age.

"You've spoken with that many? We've tried talking to Yuri about it, but he won't listen to us. He always just says everything's fine and there's nothing to worry about, or that they're only people he's met in town."

"How long has it been going on?"

Drawing up his shoulders, Karol slumped in his seat, chin tucked as he stared up from beneath drawn-in brows. "I don't know," he admitted. "It wasn't like he just started acting weird. It was more like it got so bad that I couldn't _not_ notice."

Judith reached over Karol's shoulder to set a sugar bowl on the table. "It's likely that he met the first of his new friends shortly after we returned to Dahngrest," she said. "However, it wasn't until he really began to have difficulty hiding the strain he's been under that we began to look into things."

Her smile was as polished and cool as the porcelain teacups she set before them. Behind her, the kettle whistled and, as she turned to retrieve it, Flynn couldn't help wondering just how long an interval she'd allowed between noticing Yuri's distress and trying to do something about it.

"Once we figured out what was going on, we tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen! He just…he just brushed me off like a little kid." Karol's gloves strained as he squeezed his fists tight. Judith poured the tea and took a seat beside him.

"That was about the time we started compiling the list," she said. There was something in her eyes as she looked at Flynn that made him think she'd intended the list for him all along. "We passed a copy off to Estelle the last time we saw her, and she assured us that she would speak with you as soon as possible."

There it was again. He had the strangest feeling that, although they had claimed Yuri as their own, these people were turning to him for help in the hopes that the bond he shared with Yuri would be enough to make him see what he was doing to himself. Flynn only hoped they were right.

He took a sip of his tea and looked around the small kitchen. Yuri had always liked to cook, and it wasn't a stretch to imagine him spending a fair amount of time here. He wondered if Yuri liked this tiny kitchen better than the one at The Comet, if he enjoyed having everything at hand, of if he preferred a bit more elbowroom.

Before he quite realized it, Flynn found himself asking: "Yuri stays here when he's in Dahngrest, correct? May I see his room?"

Judith and Karol led him upstairs after he finished his tea. Yuri's room was through a door at the end of the hall. Currently, it was vacant. He should have been back the day before, Karol explained miserably, but he'd been returning from jobs later and later, usually. They still expected him back any time, but couldn't give Flynn a more exact guess. He agreed to wait for a while, and, with one last, hopeful glance, Karol left him alone in Yuri's room.

It was strikingly similar to his room over The Comet: sparsely furnished, a few spare swords mounted on the wall. There was a small, wooden table in the middle of the room flanked by two rickety chairs. A dressing table bearing a dinged basin and a comb stood next to the door. There was a bed in the corner of the room directly beneath one window and with another an arm's length from the foot.

Against the wall near the head of the bed was a thin shelf, and Flynn went to take a closer look. It was more mementos of the type that decorated the guild headquarters' receiving room, although the knickknacks and thank you's here felt more personal. Candid photographs of people Flynn didn't recognize, and ones of Yuri playing games or cooking were stood up in cheap, paper frames. Little notes, a pressed flower crown, and a necklace of wooden beads sat on the shelf amid trophies such as tooth and claw and one wickedly curved dagger. He examined each of the items, running his fingers lightly over them, wondering where they had come from, or who had given them to Yuri and why. He turned away none the wiser and bothered by his ignorance. He had known the story behind every item in Yuri's old room.

He went to stand next to the unmade bed. The window above it looked across a dark alley at buildings that blocked out the sky. The room's other window, however, provided a partial view of the city. Doubtless, it would be Yuri's favorite seat.

Flynn stripped himself of his armor, laying it out neatly on the table. It obviously didn't belong there. _He_ didn't belong there, in that room, in that city. Yuri had ventured out of his tiny, limited world and created a life for himself that didn't always include Flynn. It was a reality that he had found to be more difficult to accept than he would have expected.

With a sigh, he sat down on the bed. He could guess at some of what Yuri had been thinking, but his adventure out into the world, the months since the defeat of the Adephagos…was it possible all that time and all those events and choices could have made a different person out of his old friend? Could he still say that he knew Yuri as well as he used to?

Thinking about it was getting him nowhere. Letting himself fall to the side, he bounced slightly as he hit the mattress. He recognized Yuri's scent in the sheets, and when he closed his eyes and breathed deep, he could almost convince himself that he was back in Zaphias, in a tiny, familiar room. Yuri would be coming back any time, and Flynn drifted off, imagining the sound of boots on worn steps and the creak of old hinges.

* * *

Dawn found him still alone in the room, and Flynn fixed his armor back into place and set out for the inn to collect Sodia. He was tired, battling a heaviness in his limbs that, despite his civilian clothing, was worse than he had ever felt in full armor. Early as he rose, Dahngrest was up even earlier, the streets bustling as he slipped through them without greeting or recognition. The smell of cooking food came to him in teasing whiffs from street-side inns and cafes and in heavy facefulls of flavorful air from the market vendors. It turned his stomach, and he breathed shallowly as he walked on through the jostling crowd. He felt as if he'd already gorged himself, and that the food now sat undigested, a mass of poor choices and regret in his stomach. Perhaps it was his own emotions that he'd been dining upon. He'd certainly bitten back enough harsh words over the past several days and swallowed enough anger to fuel him through the toughest of battles. The only battles he was guaranteed that day, however, wouldn't involve any physical fighting.

Though he kept up a brisk pace, it was more an attempt to rise above the disheartening nature of the day's business. He knew what to expect from the stories he would hear that day. A quiet, lowly part of his mind asked him if he really needed to bother, since it would only be more of the same, but he ignored that voice. Much as he wished it were otherwise, Yuri had been listening to such things for months, letting them seep into him and feed that unfortunate side of himself that he'd always tried so hard to hide, that part of him that felt unworthy because of circumstance and the attitudes of half of the city where he grew up, the part of him that Flynn was certain was somewhat responsible for his recklessness, conscious or no. Those stories, those losses and tears and flares of temper pressed in close around him, and Flynn had only been listening for a few days. The more he thought of everything that had happened, the tighter it all wrapped around him until it seemed he could barely draw breath deep enough to satisfy.

He wanted to be alone, wanted to confront Yuri, wanted to console him. He wanted this all to be over, wanted the accidents never to have happened. He wanted to forget all he'd heard, and he wanted to be reprimanded for his sin, for the pride that had blinded him to Alexei's deepening madness. He wanted to be home, with Yuri, bickering over stupid things and having tea before the fireplace and toasting little snacks over the flames.

All of those wishes felt impossibly out of his reach in the melancholy that had taken hold of him that morning. The unfamiliar streets in this unfamiliar city where Yuri was making himself another home seemed endless and rang with a nerve-wracking clamor. Flynn quickened his steps and kept his head down. It didn't feel right to bring Sodia along to hear more stories with their mix of undeserved reproach and praise—not there in Yuri's new city. The part of his friend that listened to talk of normal lives he'd unwittingly helped to end was not a part he'd he proud to have others see, and there was no love lost between Yuri and Sodia to begin with. Flynn couldn't bear to face Dahngrest alone however, and, thankfully, her dislike seemed to have waned, at least to some small degree, over the course of their journey.

Sodia was waiting for him just outside the inn, and at the first sight of her, Flynn berated himself. He should have sent word the night before, but he hadn't ever made a conscious decision to spend the night in the guild house. Her concern only became more apparent as he got closer, and he wondered, with a strange, wry amusement, if he looked as tired as he felt.

"Which room are the things in? I'll go get my writing case—"

"Sir…perhaps we should rest for the day. Surely, he'll show up…." She trailed off as he held up a hand, and he realized just how worried she was to actually suggest a meeting with Yuri.

"I have to see this through. I'm as much at fault as he is. All the Knights are." For not having seen, for the crime of having overlooked or dismissed. Alexei had loosed the terror upon their world, but he couldn't have done it without the rank and file under his command.

Whether she agreed or not, she offered no further argument as he went quickly to gather his things before consulting the dwindling list of names.

They had only spoken with two people when Judith found them. She met them on the street outside a dressmaker's shop, a woman whose young daughter had fallen down the stairs in the dead of night when the light from her blastia lantern had unexpectedly gone out. The child had lived, but had lost the ability to walk. Such a simple accident, but as the girl had claimed that the sudden loss of the light had startled her and caused her to miss her step, it was one that Yuri had taken onto his conscience along with all the others.

Judith waved to the proprietress as Flynn strode across the street to meet her.

"He's returned. Karol thought it best that we not tell him you had come to town."

"He's at your headquarters?" At her nod, anticipation clenched tight in his gut, the force of it seeming to shear off the heaviness that had been clinging to his limbs. "Thank you. Sodia, I'll meet you back at the inn."

"I should go with you, sir."

Even to his ears, the words sounded flat. It was a token protest made only out of habit. A simple look passed between them and, particularly after the events of the last several days, she understood. Flynn didn't even have to speak again for her to turn and walk away.

Judith was smiling at him. "Shall we?"

He fell into step beside her, and they hadn't gone very far before she spoke up again.

"I don't believe this is something you'll be able to talk him out of."

The content of her words didn't surprise him. He knew well enough how stubborn Yuri could be, particularly over matters where a cool head and objective point of view would have benefited him. However, the fact that she had expressed the thought at all gave him pause. He'd gotten the feeling before that Yuri's friends all held a particular loyalty to him.

"I have to try." A simple response, but it was the truth.

"By all means. However, it may be that all you can do is remind him that you'll be around to pick up the pieces. He won't let anyone make his decisions for him."

Ah. There was the loyalty. Flynn could see it now, concern held in check by the faith that Yuri would be strong enough to pull himself together again, even if he wouldn't save himself from the fall that would break him. It was a quiet sort of support, but the kind that he was certain Yuri was grateful for, whether or not he might admit it.

"You don't need to tell me that."

She smiled. He'd noticed that she did that a lot. She was like Yuri, that way.

"Of course. This way, Commandant."

She led him through the city, circling around to approach Brave Vesperia's headquarters from the side opposite Yuri's second story room. Flynn discovered why when he climbed the stairs for their little visit. Yuri was sitting on the windowsill and, though the room was laid out differently, though the scenery outside the window was unfamiliar, Flynn was suddenly transported back in time. He stepped into the room, a young recruit of the Imperial Knights come to visit the friend who had walked away from that path and gotten lost trying to find his own. The illusion was broken when Yuri turned away from the city outside his window. There was something in his face that, while not older by so many years, looked aged in a way that his smile couldn't quite hide.

"Hey. You could've just waited for me."

"Did Judith tell you I'd been here?"

"Come on, Flynn. You really think you can spend the night in my bed and I wouldn't realize it?" He cast his gaze back out over Dahngrest. "Are you here for a visit, or has the mighty Flynn Scifo come after me for one of my many transgressions?"

"I'm not so mighty, Yuri. This business with the Knights is running me ragged, even though it seems I barely leave my desk. I took the first chance I got to leave Zaphias for a while to get a breath of fresh air. Even that hasn't turned out the way I'd hoped, though." Running his fingers over the back of one of the chairs, he wondered if the discussion would remain so calm the whole way through. Probably not. He sat down, anyway, and rested his arms on the table. "As for you, from what I've heard, you haven't been doing much transgressing lately. On the contrary, it seems you've been preoccupied with good deeds."

"Gee, Flynn, don't sound too happy about that."

"I spoke with Erich Rosen in Halure."

"Yeah? He's a nice guy. Kinda reminds me of Hanks." He laughed shortly, eyes still fixed out over the city. "You remember that time Hanks—"

"Erich told me that you paid his rent for him." It was a struggle to keep his voice neutral, but he managed it. "He told me a lot of things about you—about how you always stop by to see him and how you help out with odd jobs. He couldn't stop singing your praises, actually."

"Why do I get the feeling you've got a problem with that?"

"He also told me how he lost his arm."

Yuri shifted, shoulders hunching a little higher as he crossed his arms over his chest. "A lot of people were hurt when the blastia stopped working. Can't go anywhere without finding someone like Erich."

"So I've come to realize. Yuri, you know as well as I do that we had no other option. You've got to—"

"That isn't good enough!" Scowling, he surged up off his perch and met Flynn's eyes. "There should have been something else we could have done, even if it was just getting a warning out to people."

He remained calm in the face of Yuri's anger, though it wasn't easy. Part of him agreed and was every bit as upset. He couldn't let it show just then, however. It wasn't the right time for commiseration.

"How, exactly, do you think we could have managed to warn everyone?"

Flynn had gone through all the arguments in his head as he took the steps that had led him there from Halure. He was certain that there was nothing else they could have done. If only he could get Yuri to see that and accept it.

"We should have tried! Alexei had that Heracles monster. How many other machines did he have that we could have used?"

"I haven't found any evidence of other such constructs."

"The empire and the guilds could've sent messengers and ships!"

"They would have had to return to their cities, draft letters, send them out, and hope that everyone at their destinations would be present and willing to listen. Ships would've had to be re-outfitted to sail without blastia before they launched. It would have taken more time than we had to spare, and any warnings that might have arrived on time carried the risk of inciting riots. In that case, even more people would have been hurt or killed."

"You always have an answer for everything, don't you? It wasn't _right_, Flynn!" His fist slammed down on the table. When he withdrew his hand, he let it slide up to the back of one of the chairs where his fingers dug into the wood.

"I'm not saying it was right, but what you're doing won't fix things."

"What do you know about it?"

He was avoiding Flynn's eyes again, all his bottled up rage focused away into the dim corners of his room. The old chair caught in his grip creaked, its legs rapping against the floor as Yuri tipped it back and slammed it down again.

"I know that your friends are concerned for you. Enough that they called my attention to what's been going on."

He hesitated a moment, but maybe actually getting a look at all the names written down together would help Yuri see. Flynn pulled out the list, unfolded it, and set it down on the table, nudging it across. Something had to get through to him and make him see what he was doing to himself. He watched as Yuri tried his best not to look at the accusing names, watched him glance helplessly at the table and tear his eyes away.

"Why were you so short on gald the last time I saw you?" he asked softly. "Judith says that Brave Vesperia has been doing well. Why didn't you have enough gels to take care of that wound I ended up healing for you?"

"I'd been traveling light—"

The lie finally snapped Flynn's control. He was out of his seat before he'd realized it, advancing around the table towards Yuri who swung the chair out between them and backed away. He saw the ferocity in Yuri's expression and readied himself for an attack that didn't come. Yuri kept his distance and, somewhere in the back of his mind, Flynn knew that wasn't right, but he kept seeing those gouges across Yuri's back, kept hearing a woman insisting that the bills still needed to be paid. They wouldn't be paid with Yuri's blood, not if Flynn had anything to say about it.

"You're putting yourself at risk! After all you've done for this world, are you going to let yourself be killed by a monster because you beggared yourself trying to help people and couldn't afford to buy gels?"

Yuri turned away. "You sound like an idiot. 'Putting myself at risk?' I'm just helping out, Flynn. I haven't beggared myself. I'm getting by just fine."

"What you're doing isn't good for you."

"What the hell would you know about what's good for me?" He spun back around just in time to slap Flynn's hand away. "Maybe it does me good to see that I can help people. Ever think of it that way? Maybe I like knowing I can give something back after all I've cost them!"

"You saved their _lives_."

"And what about the ones I didn't save? The ones who died because of what I did—what _we_ did?"

"We did what was necessary."

"What's necessary isn't always what's right!" He turned his face aside, crossing his arms, fingers digging into his own flesh. "I know that better than most. So should you."

He could practically see Yuri's desperation eating him up. It was obvious he wouldn't be listening to reason. He couldn't help himself. There would be no convincing him. Flynn drew a steadying breath.

"I could make you stop," he said evenly. "If I told those people the truth, what then?" He saw the first flicker of fear in Yuri's expression when he glanced up, and he pressed his advantage, stepping closer, backing Yuri into a corner. "What would you do if they knew? Would you still be able to face them?"

"Don't you _dare_, Flynn!" His voice wavered, though Yuri regrouped quickly, pulled his stubbornness over himself like armor and faced Flynn down. "You've got no right. You kept quiet about it for this long. You've got _no right_ to blackmail me with it now!"

"I'm only trying to help you." He reached out for Yuri's hand, not at all surprised when Yuri whirled out of his reach, back towards the center of the room.

"The hell you are. Where do you get off, thinking I need your help? I know how to run my own life. I keep enough gald and gels on me. Last time you saw me was a mistake. That doesn't mean I need you barging in here, ignoring your own work to baby-sit me! I know how to run my own life. I'm not starving myself to see these people taken care of. I've got a room here and one back in Zaphias. I keep busy with the guild and help out in my spare time."

"Are you happy?"

The question seemed to surprise him. "What?"

"It's a simple question, Yuri. Are you happy?"

"Of course, I am."

"Oh, really? Lady Estellise didn't think so. Karol and Judith wouldn't have believed you just now, either. And if _I_ can see straight through you, there's no way you're fooling yourself."

"Ask me a question, then call me a liar when I answer. Real diplomatic. I hope you're smart enough to stay in the field and away from politics."

"This isn't about _me_, Yuri. It's about you and what you're doing to yourself!"

"I'm living my own damn life!"

"But are you _happy_? And tell me the truth this time, for heaven's sake!"

Watching Yuri's face go cold and closed off, Flynn felt tired all of a sudden. He knew he wasn't going to win this battle.

"Happier when you leave," Yuri muttered.

He went out of his way to walk around the table to get to the bed. Flynn watched him throw back the sheets and then just stand there, head bowed as he stared down at the mattress. He looked worn down and brittle as dead wood. Judith had been right and Yuri was fast approaching the breaking point.

"Yuri…I can't…I can't just tell you to do whatever you feel like doing. I could barely stand a few days' worth of hearing first hand about all the suffering that resulted from our choice. To think of you putting yourself through that day in and day out is…." He sighed and shook his head. "Yuri, I don't want you torturing yourself over this any longer. However…you were right to say that it isn't my place to speak to them about you. None of us can save you from yourself, but…know that we're here for you. In the meantime, I will deal with this issue my own way."

Still turned away, Yuri drew a deep breath and nodded. His shoulders seemed perhaps a little less strained beneath the weight they bore, though he neither looked behind him nor spoke a word of farewell as Flynn left. Even still, as he made his way back out onto the streets of Dahngrest, Flynn looked back up to the bedroom window and saw Yuri sitting there, watching. His face was angled into shadow and unreadable, but he raised a hand in acknowledgement. It was as much reassurance as Flynn would get, and he waved back and walked off, resolved to try again to talk sense into Yuri as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

Sodia was waiting for him back at the inn, and was all too happy to hear that they would be returning to the capital. Years of working together had left her attuned to his moods, though he flattered himself to think he was ever particularly difficult to read. Yuri had always said he read clear as a tavern sign, and Flynn knew well enough that that wasn't due exclusively to their closeness. Sodia gave him time to think over the discussion with Yuri as they packed their gear and rode out. It wasn't until they made a stop to fill their growling stomachs that she asked about their talk.

"It went…."

'Terribly' and 'As well as could be expected' were both the truth from different angles. He'd gone up to that room hoping to talk sense into Yuri, but knowing deep down just as surely as Judith had that his old friend was far too stubborn to be swayed by rational argument. Sodia waited patiently for him to decide how to phrase it.

"You've seen how Yuri is," he said at last. "The most I achieved might well have simply been reminding him of my support. Speaking of which, I've been meaning to thank you for coming with me on this errand. Having you here has been a great relief."

After a moment's hesitation, her eyes darted away from his. "It's my duty, sir." Her cheeks were faintly pink, and Flynn felt a familiar, guilty suspicion, which he pushed aside.

"At any rate, Yuri will do as he pleases, but he's taken on a burden too large even for him this time. No matter what he wants to believe, he can't save everyone."

He wondered if it might be easier for Yuri if the whole story was known, after all. There would be open hostility from some, of course, but there would also be the recognition due a hero. Wouldn't it be easier for him to live with what he had helped bring about if there were clear demonstrations of gratitude alongside the bitter yearnings for the past?

"Do you have a plan in mind for how to deal with him?"

"I do, but we won't be interfering with Yuri, not directly. I'm taking the list Lady Estellise gave me to Master Ioder and the Council. They must be made to see that further efforts need to be implemented to help those harmed when the blastia were lost. It has been difficult, but we're still prospering. People are banding together to help each other. I'm certain that something can be done to ensure all these people and all the others we don't know about yet are taken care of."

"You'll have to involve the Union and Palestralle if you mean to reach out to every victim."

"We will. I will see to it, personally. Every one of those people made part of the sacrifice that saved our world. They deserve consideration for that."

She took a drink of water, staring down at nothing. "I don't think this will be all that easy."

"Nothing worth doing ever is, but I intend to try."

He would take some of Yuri's burden onto his own shoulders whether Yuri liked it or not. Yuri could go on trying to save everyone. Flynn would do everything in his power to save him.


End file.
